In time with you
Dramas are a wondrous thing, they make you fall in love and hate some character only to fiddle with those emotions and sometimes make you eat your tongue. In this episode, I began to find someone cute who I completely hated for the fact that she existed, I could find only wrong with her. Now I’m not so sure.
ITWY has become the Moping/Brooding drama of the year, I think that there’s not one episode without Da Ren or You Qing doing one or both of these things. However if they can just get on with it, I’ll forgive them everything…
Da Ren is brooding about the call that DLW intercepted and shouted into the phone for him to leave them alone. You Qing calls him but he ignores it and the text she sends soon after. She tells him not to get fussed over LW but he’s not fussed about that but about himself instead.
Life goes one, and as if to show that YW receives a call from a scam company pretending to be the Transport Adjucation agency over a ticket she received however she starts to give them and earful and finishes with the fact that she doesn’t even own a car so she can’t have a ticket. Needless to say they hang up. losers.
10th sign of Old Age
Your fighting spirit arises when dealing with swindlers.
Uncle Bai and Da Ren have a heart to heart at the little street restaurant that our leads frequent. Da Ren passes the torch of taking care of his family to Uncle Bai which is something that is not unwelcome.
Da Ren get’s asked about You Qing by the restaurant owner, and the question is repeated by Uncle Bai. Da Ren tells him that You Qing has a boyfriend who she’ll probably marry, this explains to Uncle Bai why the sudden transfer to Singapore.
When he gets home his mom is prattling on about possible colors: “warm” white rose or “poised” barley white – and I shake my head I have no idea about house colors, I at one time wanted a deep blue for my room… Da Ren is just as clueless as I am, but he chooses white rose.
He uses this opportunity seeing as she’s calm and relaxed to ask her to attend Tao Tao’s band competition. When she says she doesn’t like noise, he asks her to stop pretending that they don’t care about each other so that he can leave with a easy conscience.
She doesn’t react very well to the news that he’s leaving and almost has a melt down. She compares him to his father that also left her behind. I think this is unfair, he’s a thirty year old man, he should be able to decide what to do with his life without receiving guilt trips from his parents.
Next thing she knows, Mama Li is being pushed into the audience seats for Tao Tao’s competition, and Tao Tao, is definitely surprised to see her mom arrive and actually stay to listen. After a few other bands it’s Tao Tao’s turn up and I think I just fell in love with that song.
The expression in your eyes
has told me that you dislike me
Pupils buried in emptiness
I’m going to leave the life that has you soon,
to look for my sky
I’m living each minute and second for myself
Stop giving me those excuses
Don’t ever come to disturb my rhythm
i don’t know your standards
that arrogance, pridefulness and affectation isn’t me
I hold my own hands
I’m more relaxed without you.
I don’t need a broken alarm clock
So stop annoying me, stop caring and stop bothering me
let me go.
Mama Li is touched, her eyes filling up with tears as she sees her daughter giving it her best up on stage. She even scolds Da Ren for being so preocupied with his cell phone.
He decides to go out to talk to You Qing who has become insistent in texting when she learned that he’s been busy with his transfer to Singapore.
He tells her that he decided to go because of her, since she told him he should work hard. She wonders why he listens so much to her. But he says he’s also doing it for himself.
I just think that I shouldn’t be trapped I’m working at this place with the nearest access to the world, but I’m the furthest away from the world. I want to go to Tibet Turkey and many more places, but I can only send the different kinds of tourists over. So I want to move to another city, Even if I’m trapped there. i should have the travel-kind of feeling.
You Qing doesn’t answer right away and Da Ren asks her what she’s thinking, all she can say without showing she’s about to cry is that perhaps it’s for the best, so that they won’t become dull.
When Da Ren and his mom get home after the competition, his mom’s all like “I hope she wasn’t singing about me with all that ‘dislike’ feeling in it”. Da Ren assures her it isn’t and that no one will think it’s about her. She relaxes enough only to get riled up at the judges! do they have block for ears?! how come Tao Tao’s song didn’t get in the top three? Da Ren looks on with a smile on his face, happy that his mom is on Tao Tao’s side for once.
It’s You Qing’s time to brood, mope, just wonder where her life is going. She get’s questioned by her mirror-self, she’s starting to give a corporeal form to her inner thoughts, and it keeps on urging her to change. Unfortunately it leaves her behaving like a good little girlfriend, biting back remarks that she felt like saying, but would probably be cause for fighting.
As any girl that’s trying to express her need for change in a non-destructive way she goes to a hair salon.
When she get’s back she shocks both her parents. Her mom instantly worried about her relationship with Li Wei and her dad saying that she looks very good, very strong. Her mom tell’s her she better not try to be a strong woman because those women have troubles in love. You Qing gets annoyed and pulls it off revealing that it’s a wig.
The first thing she does is send a pic to LW who immediately calls to scold her for cutting her hair without his permission! That she should ask his opinion about what to do with her hair just like she would ask him about the lamp, room color or sofa they’ll buy when they get married. She get’s pissed off and rightly so, since she’s none of those things and it’s HER hair, not his.
When she walks in to work everyone gathers around to comment on her hair and ask her for the name of her salon which she jokingly says she’ll give when it’s no longer popular. Nic comes in at that moment and tells her that every time he sees her she’s changed something. She takes it as a compliment though he wasn’t necessarily meaning it as such.
The reason he’s there is because the C.E.O, a.k.a Sweet Boss Lady, wants to tell them that one of the main managers has resigned from her post because she wanted to change her life (you’re losing your subtlety show), and that she’s now looking for someone to take on the post, however it will involve transferring to another city. However nobody volunteers and they all pointedly look away when she looks at them. Although YQ seems to be thinking about it
At work Da Ren is congratulated by a co-worker who tells him to enjoy this time that he’s free from responsibilities to work in different places because once he has a wife and children he won’t be able to.
Once everyone and their mothers find out Da Ren’s leaving they start having farewell parties, the first is the one with all the high school classmates at Xin Di’s house.
They have a good time, despite a crazy drunk classmate, the divorced friend of Da Ren’s, who starts screaming about having lost the best years of his life, etc.. The song that Da Ren wrote almost get’s revealed but he denies it and deflects to another classmate’s song which they all sing in unison.
Because Da Ren and You Qing are still mostly sober they have drunk towing duties. As the leave the guy at his house, the guy comes out and starts yelling that he loves them, and then asks them if they love him and they appease him by agreeing and then he asks them if they love each other? You Qing and Da Ren studiously avoid each other as they say yes, yes we love each other.
While they walk and talk to each other they inwardly pine for what can’t be, and if I hear “too sad, really too sad” from either of them I’ll pull out my hair in frustration. All they have to do is just confess damn it!
Da Ren is so great for You Qing because he actually asks what change she wants, something that Li Wei previously just dismissed as silliness.
We get a flashback to their college days. You Qing had just eaten a lot and couldn’t find her wallet, from around a corner a voice calls out that he’ll pay for her. Da Ren comes up and asks how much is owed and is completely taken aback by how much she ate, he didn’t have enough to cover both their bills after all, but the owner is nice and tells them that he’ll forgive it if they come back often.
They’re both remembering this and looking at the owner in the present time. They’re smiling such creepy smiles at him that he becomes uncomfortable and hurries about his cooking.
You Qing tells him that she wants to change many things like, her habit of forgetting her wallet, drinking too much, and eating a late dinner. Da Ren jokes that such changes actually seem to be for his benefit, and she tells him that he shouldn’t get a big head, since ultimately she’s doing it for herself so that she won’t gain wait.
He tells her that she should come out to eat with Li Wei next time but she nixes the idea since if she’s at odds with him eating dinner with him will give her indigestion. (umm if you marry him dear, you’ll be doing more than just eating dinner with him… what will you do then?) Da Ren asks if there’s something they’ve been arguing about and she points to her hair and the fact that Li Wei always blames their lack of communication on her. She asks Da Ren if she’s actually that difficult to talk to that even fraud groups hang up on her.
Actually men are as inferior as fraud groups when they meet a woman that is eloquent and has a clear mind they’ll panic.
You Qing mulls it over and asks him to be thought of as cuter should she just apologize instead of give her point of view? Something in her expression alarms Da Ren’s spidey sense and he warns her not to change so much, when she asks if it’s not good for girls to be more adorable.
I don’t know if it’s good or no, BUt I’m sure that to disguise into someone that isn’t you, Chen You Qing will suffer
See, you have not problems telling her how it is but why can’t you just damn confess?
Another pining moment where she goes, “too sad, really too sad” grr, if it’s too sad change it, leave Li Wei, but don’t just mope about Da Ren. She tells Da Ren that what she really has to change is her habit of looking for Da Ren to chat, when he doesn’t react to that outwardly she get’s miffed.
At home Tao Tao is trying to teach her mom to chat online. When as a demonstration on how to use the video chat, she turns on her own and calls her mom, her mom takes the opportunity to tell her that she really liked her song. Tao Tao is too embarrassed to tell her mother face to face but she types that hearing that from her mother is better than winning first prize.
Turns out that computer is something that You Qing bought for Mama Li so that when Da Ren’s in Singapore they can talk to each other. Da Ren resolution to leave takes a hit at the gesture from You Qing and while he’s thanking her for it he almost confesses his feelings. However she types just like she talks, way to fast for him to get a word in edge-wise, she invites him over for a dinner party the next day that her mom wants to hold in his honor. He erases what he’d been typing and agrees to the dinner since it’s Cheng Ma.
You Qing’s mom starts making plans and urges You Qing to invite Li Wei. You Qing is actually a little reluctant to call him since they hadn’t talked since their disagreement on her haircut. When she calls he reprimands her again for not answering her phone the whole day and ignoring him. He wants her to go with him to a dinner he’s been invited to for the next day, she tries to get out of it because of Da Ren’s party, but he’s fed up with parties in honor of Da Ren and tells her that she better go to his dinner because she’s his girlfriend.
She IM’s Da Ren about the change in her plans and asks him if he’ll disown her for it. but he’s Da Ren, he’s not demanding Li Wei, he tells her not to worry about him.
Thank you Da Ren. Thank you for being my best friend. Thank You for coming into my life
She goes to the dinner dressed beautifully and Li Wei re-introduces her to his boss. The dinner is so uncomfortable even for outsider as the boss tries to pry into their situation. Telling You Qing that she should quit her job once she marries so that she could be the perfect trophy wife.. ok not exactly that but it’s basically what he meant!
She doesn’t agree, and lightly says that the reason that they are taking their time in marrying is because they have to gauge each other’s idea of “good wife” and “good mother” and see if their standards are reconcilable.
At the Cheng family house the Da Ren Appreciation Dinner, the men are also talking about their wives. Mei Qing’s husband complains that Mei Qing wants to stop being a stay at home mom and work. Papa Cheng says that it’s better to marry an “ordinary” wife than one that has to be made happy after a hard day’s work.
Then when You Qing’s brother states that by Cheng Pa’s idea of a wife, You Qing wouldn’t be a good one. Cheng Pa disagrees because, while You Qing would fail at merely being a wife, she could easily be a wife that’s a friend, lover and mentor.
Meanwhile Da Ren has a very vacant look in his face as he becomes lost in the woes and grievances of the married men.
Li Wei is dropping off You Qing at her house, and just as she’s about to move away she turns and asks to talk with Li Wei. She starts to tell him that if he’s the type that wants a stay at home wife then he better let her go and stop wasting time. He tells her that they’ll have enough time to discuss it when they’re married (Hell NO! that’s like the most disadvantageous position for You Qing!).
She tells him that she can’t stand his possessiveness because he’s such a control freak, not her words, they’re mine, but mine are better than hers. She tells him that as long as he’s so possessive they will continue to have problems. He’s about to argue but he decides to to by the tried and true DLW method: smother her till she agrees. He envelops her in a hug and tells her that he finds that she’s changed so much and that all he can do is to love her more.
Li Wei continues on to say that he can’t possibly live in a city without You Qing, then in a heart stopping move swoops down and kisses her silly. Da Ren also witnessed that- so sad, and yet so creepy! Don’t be a creeper DR!
When You Qing enters the house he runs downstairs and goes back up pretending that he’s just leaving, however he soon cops to having heard the most “amazing” part of their talk. You Qing is totally embarrassed, but he continues teasing her by repeating the part about being unable to live in a city without You Qing.
As he leaves her house he thinks about living in a world without her, and flashbacks show her disappearing from his side, his smiles turning into depressed expressions.
Sweet Boss Lady tells You Qing that she’d really like You Qing to accept the promotion and transfer to Singapore. When You Qing hears Singapore she perks up a bit and even tells her boss that she has friend being transferred there, this get’s the boss’s hopes up since it’ll be easier for You Qing to adjust if there’s someone there already.
However You Qing has many misgivings, mostly related to Li Wei’s reaction. So what’s a girl to do when she can’t even talk to her best friend about this? Call her gay friend for a chat! She tells Nic about the offer, and he’s not surprised since he knows that the Sweet Boss Lady values You Qing a lot. She asks him a rhetorical question: if he told his lover that he’d be gone a year would his lover let him go?
he doesn’t directly reply but he does tell her that she didn’t seem like the type to be hung up on love. She tells him that to keep a relationship going you need to sacrifice and compromise. While I agree with the latter, the former does not sit well with me. He asks her if she has decided to follow her advice, and she shakes her head because she’s still undecided.
She tells him that if it were anyplace but Singapore, the place where her best friend is transferring to and the friend her boyfriend is jealous of, is being transferred, then perhaps it wouldn’t have been a big deal. Nic ponders it a bit and then suggests that she use her womanly weapons: first talk, then charm and then cry… You Qing scoffs at that, clearly something that her pride wouldn’t accept.
He asks her a question of his own, “Only on emotions, disregarding everything else, what do you want to do” When he sees that she’s made a decision in her mind he tells her, I think the best piece of advise that’s left his mouth
If your heart has the answer, then work hard towards the answer.
Ok and I have to say it his boyfriend is sooo soo cute! and they cutely share a kiss as they ride off on the rainbow of love… or just you know, walk away like people do.
You Qing goes to Li Wei’s office and tells him that it’s his turn to accompany her somewhere. When he hear’s it’s another Da Ren farewell party he balks a bit, but relents.
While she’s there she tells him about the offer to go to Singapore, and he tells her no, definitely not, and to stress it even more he says it in English. She tries to make him see that it’ll be so that she can realize if she’s good enough for the job, that way she could find herself. He tells her that the only way she’s going is if they break up.
She starts tearing up as she speaks,
I know I’m very selfish. I’m very greedy I want you and I want myself too But I think it should be impossible.
And just like Nic predicted, tears were the clincher and Li Wei agrees to accept her transfer for three months.
It’s Karaoke time! Da Ren and Maggie are at the mike singing and Maggie’s already more than a little drunk.
You Qing comes in and is greeted familiarly by Da Ren’s coworkers and she jokes around with them. However Li Wei is extremely jealous and when the coworkers try to get You Qing to drink a shot, Li Wei decides to cut in and drink it for her.
Soon it’s You Qing’s turn to sing with Maggie. Da Ren just soaks in You Qing’s voice as she looks everywhere but him and Maggie looks only at him. I’m feeling so bad for Maggie it’s not even funny, I disliked her to the extremes in the beginning but she’s actually to be pitied, the guy she likes doesn’t like her back and she can’t even stop caring for him since he is also in a painful love cycle.
During an instrumental interlude, Maggie leans on You Qing and starts blurting out the truth. I kind of hate this though, because it’s totally ruined the fact that it should be Da Ren saying those things first, not by proxy!
He’s really trying hard not to love you But he failed. […] He told me himself that’s why we broke up.
Maggie starts crying as she continues the song and staring plaintively at Da Ren and You Qing stares unmovingly
At this moment everything has changed
10th charm of a mature woman
No one can determine the length of our hair
I had issue with Mama Cheng today, not for the first time mind you, since she was the first one to say You Qing should get back together with Li Wei. I disliked the opinion she expressed over strong women. Is it such a crime to be successful and independent? It’s kind of always been my dream to be that kind of woman and to find love because I’m like that, because I hope that a man would see my worth
I am glad that the drama is addressing the question of possessive boyfriends though it’s not doing well in the lets resist the charm of said boyfriends…
I felt something awful in my mouth when I heard You Qing tell Nic about having to Sacrifice in a relationship… I don’t like Sacrifice, the only person that I’ll accept a sacrifice from is Jesus. I feel that if a person feels like they’re sacrificing something for someone they’ll end up regretting and feeling antagonistic towards the person they sacrificed for. I don’t want You Qing to have such a burden later on in life, it’s likely to make a her angry, poisonous to those around her, especially since it’s not in her character to be self-effacing willingly, it’ll be like pulling all her teeth out of her one by excruciating one. If it’s not something that you willingly give up, then don’t do it, just don’t.
I didn’t like the fact that someone else told You Qing about Da Ren’s feelings. She should have heard it straight from the horses mouth. It kind of leaves Da Ren off the hook, he doesn’t need to confess anymore, he just needs to accept the accusations that You Qing may hurl at her. It’s actually depressingly cowardly… I’m sad.
oh and during the dinner with the boss, You Qing released her hand